The disappearance. Pt.1

The disappearance.

Fade out to white
the crimson stories
written on my veins
are only subtlety dripping
like the glances you steal
from her, in gossamer silk threads
touching her waist
so she won't notice
you're looking at me.

Cover my mouth,
I do
and that's because I
remember what it felt like
when he did it for me.
That's why there was red
on my rib
and there's only a thread
of trust between us,

and that's because of him.
So bite my words
and then dip your head towards hers
I bet she's so much better
that she's ready to grip you tighter
and hurt you more.

When you ask her to stop,
boy she won't.
and I would know,
I've always asked her to stop
and we're both girls
and she's not even gay
and she won't.

She doesn't care about you
any more than
she cared about me
And trust me,
you don't leave someone
you care about like oil to a car.
I care about you,

but you're a burnt leaf now
and so I went to put you in my hair,
braiding you deep to me
with a bird's eye view
so that you won't get lost.

You resisted and at
that concert I somehow
just got a tendril
of glitter between us,
some beauty and some connection
with him and then to us,
even though you were in the middle.

I didn't know you would
leave me like that,
so easily to thread me away.

Disappear little shadow,
chasing down myself in the basement,
trying to remember
what he did
and what I don't want you to do.

Eyes slanted downwards,
catching beauty
from the reminated stillness
that used to not be me

And then when I started shaking
      and you didn't see
no he saw me         and he's our friend
and I don't know what happened to us three.

I'm disappearing, am I?
Are you letting me?

losing my breath
to a cloth better left
somewhere in the indentation
of time where I don't seem to be hated and

you didn't care
now you're aware
I'm the trash friend
and I'll be there.

Unless I'm not.

Disappearing,
in a cloud
of no
thought.


Bleeding in the bathroom,
staring at a tiny cut.
I'm worthless and too random
the trash friend
so don't



dream,
too much,
of me.
Your girl'friend' might see.

The fade away,
the night's fade to day,
the death of me
the life becoming
only a dream

of maybe a nightmare.

I'm a shadow by the stairs.

(Don't glance over,
don't remember,
I'm not the only one.
Don't get tender,
say you stay with her,
I'm one of three and more and please run).

I'm a shadow by the stairs.

*Title: The disappearance. Pt.1
date: October 24th, 2013 (22:26)*